Is Love Enough?

One of the hardest things to do is to love someone or care about someone you know you cannot be with.

I once met a man who was kind, very smart, strong, sweet, loving, and willing. Over time, I began to see his heart and his love for me. I grew attached wanting to see more, wanting to show more, and give him more.

Even though I could see his heart and love for me, I knew we could not be together. We have different ideas and thoughts regarding our faith and love for God. What he and I believe are two different things.

While I respect his beliefs, I know we cannot have a future together. I like to consider myself a deep thinker. I love hard, I give all that I can, and I believe in going as deep as I possibly can in life. Therefore, I do not like surface-level relationships. In fact, I believe in diving into the unknown, diving into the deep. I believe in exploring every inch of the body, soul, and spirit.

Knowing this about myself, how can I be with someone I cannot explore and share my faith and beliefs with in its entirety? Can we really ever have a future? Can I really share the deepest parts of me, the ones he does not believe? How can we have children? How can he support my career path of publicly speaking or starting a podcast about my faith if he does not support what I believe? Every time I’d speak and share my faith with him or others, my mind will focus on how he does not believe or agree. I know I would feel a bit silly sharing something I know he does not agree with. Honestly, I have before.

If we were to ever have children, what would we teach them? If our child had a question about our creation, what would we say? Shall one give an answer based on the Bible and the other based on something else? Children need structure, not confusion.

What about when they are older and we have the sex talk? Will one tell their child your body is special, and you should wait until marriage to share it because of x, y, and z, while the other tells him or her they do not believe or agree?

I believe in setting standards, a foundation, and allowing that child to decide what they want to do based on what is set. Therefore, I would want my child to see mom and dad in agreement about the matter. I would not want my child to get two different responses on certain things about life. Yes, who I am to be with and I won’t always agree about everything, but in some cases, we must come into an agreement. I cannot have this with that person, and I think he is aware, but blinded by love.

If you are dating, or find yourself in this sort of situation, take your time to really think. Does your lifestyle align with that person? Do you have a solid foundation? Again, no, you will not agree about every little detail and that’s okay. That’s the beauty of the mind, but your foundation must be aligned.

Take your feelings or emotions for that person out of the equation. Does it make logical sense to be with that person? Do you agree with how you should live your life and raise your children? Doing what makes sense doesn’t always feel good, but it is necessary, and I would much rather he remembers me as I am than for us to be frustrated in disagreement later on. As hard as this may be, I would rather let go of him now if I cannot have him forever…

It took me time to really see him, to see his heart, but I am happy that I did. I am happy to have been able to experience him. I cherish him and appreciate him, and I am forever thankful.

To him,

I value you, and I want you to know that.

Love,
Jaz